Manifest

Be more feminine. Be the best. Don't take things personally. Grow a thick skin. Lose weight. Put some make up. Wear skirts. Eat like a lady. Act like a man. Don't be childish. Don't be so serious. Stop with the joking. Make up your mind. Don't cry. Don't trust. Don't be a drama queen. Pass the exams. Be back until 10. Don't go in that trip. Be scared. Be tough. Be mean. Care. Be there. Put yourself first. Don't be tired. Too much energy. Too boring. Less enthusiasm. Think. Analyze. Decide. Don't overthink. Take a risk. Think again. Be responsible. Do mistakes. Don't do mistakes. Don't judge. But be judged. Don't gossip. You gossip. Get friends. Don't be so friendly. Learn. Learn faster. Read. They read more. Develop. Now. Don't compare, but be compared. Act. Don't break the rules. Be a good girl. Be a good daughter. Be a good something, anything. Be adventurous. Make surprises. Sleep well. Be kind. Help. Be creative. Don't be dreamy. Know it all. Be complete. Don't be complicated. Be complex. Read the newspapers. Believe. Fight. Stand up. Don't be arrogant but not humble. Be relevant. Don't smoke. Don't drink. Don't talk about you. Be positive. Have hope. Control all your emotions. Don't be cold. Know yourself. Improve yourself.Follow the road. Break all the limits. Live. Get up. Train. Be successful. Smile. Don't wear so much black. Grow up. Speak more. Speak less. Don't be so easy to read. Be selfless. Be selfish. Wear gloves. Don't care. Respect but don't expect respect. Have a talent. Have a career. Know what you want, it is easy. Work more. Do more. Be more. Don't expect but exceed anyones expectations. Deliver. Be happy. Not too happy. Be smart. Be lucky. Be charming. Be the one. Live.

we all need to be less of everything and more of us. 

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De vorba, ca la inceput!

E timpul sa o iau de la capat, cu postarile, cu mine. Privind inapoi, ma simt vaga, ca intr-o ceata, protejand si aruncand cu subtilitati. E momentul in care imi asum cresterea si trecerea la un nivel nou. E momentul in care vreau claritate, sa ma exprim complet, si sa imi scriu experientele asa cum sunt ele, fara a mai fi analizate. 


Am gasit o serie de intrebari amuzante pe un blog pe care il urmaresc din cand in cand si am zis ca e un start bun. 
Asa ca, here I go, deschizand un nou capitol, unde nu imi promit ca va fi optimist dar realist poate si un pic amuzant mai ales ca in sfarsit dupa 2 ani, voi scrie despre provestile din taxi .

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·         What is the farthest you’ve been from home?
UK

·         What is your favorite word?

panselute, bucurie, matz.

·         Are you named after someone?

Da, dupa ambele bunici :)
·         If you were another person, would you be friends with you?

Greu, foarte greu.. Nu cred, sunt foarte nerabdatoare si cateodata posesiva, nu as putea sa ma impart :)))). 

Doar ca sigur, as rade non stop si m-as intelege complet.. Nu, nu in mod sigur nu
.·         Do you still have your tonsils?

There they are :))) le am, le pastrez :D
·         What was the last thing you ate?

Salata de vinete si Stoopwafels :(
·         Favorite smells?

cafea, vanilie (dar asa usor), aer curat, citrice.
 ·         Favorite sounds? Sunetele preferate?

acum se sparg valurile la mal.. adorabil! Pian :X

·         Who has been the most influential person to you?

Tata, e o persoana asa puternica, ambitioasa si mandra! Si a reusit sa faca tot singur, intr-o tara straina! 

·         What’s one thing your parents don’t know?

Ohoooooooooooooo, multe :D.. cam toate de prin adolescenta, nu le insir :D
·         If you could live forever, would you?

Doar daca si persoanele apropiate mie ar trai pentru todeauna
·         What is your most embarrassing moment?

Eram cu sora mea, si ne plimbam noi agale cand o masina cu 4 tipi in ea (normal ca era si "that boy")opreste  si eu incercand sa fiu cool si sa zambesc, am ajuns insirata pe jos cu sora mea razand pe burta. Yep, nu a mers relatia cu tipul ala :)))
·         What is the craziest thing you have ever done?

Nu prea fac eu lucruri nebunesti, doar poate momentul in care m-am dat in "Pendula" si imi faceam/strigam testamentul :)))
·         What qualities you look for in a partner (girlfriend/boyfriend)?

Sa fie bland, destept, simpatic si rational :D i bring the fun :))
·         Describe yourself in 3 words. 3 cuvinte care te descriu:

Duracell, sarcasm, curcubeu
·         Whats your favourite pizza topping??

You don't simply have enough Mozzarella :)))
·         What is something you learned today?

ca e imposibil sa te trezesti devreme cand te culci la 5 :))
·         Do you belive in magic?

Cam da :)) 
·         If someone asked you for a random piece of advice, what advice would you give him or her?

Be true to yourself! Mai ales intr-o lume in care valorile se schimba continuu.

·         If you were a type of animal, what animal would that be and why.

Imi place sa cred ca as fi o pisica alintata, dar mi-ar placea sa fiu un vultur, cam aproape orice pasare care zboooooooooooooooara (ciudat, e ca imi e frica de avione).

·         If you could learn one random skill, what would it be?

Sa dansez ca Ciara/Beyonce... just love how they dance.. 

·         Would you kill an innocent person if you thought it might mean saving a thousand other people?

WTF?

·         What is the biggest lie you’ve ever told?

Mai ,nu pot sa o zic aici :)) imi e rusine de ea :))

·         What’s the worst or weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you?

Pana acum, nu am.. this is weird. 

·         What is your favorite number?

4,9,26

·         What is your favorite eye color?

Dark Brown·

         Do you prefer the bustle of the city or the quiet of a small town?

Nu stiu, sincer! As vrea un echilibru, sau sa ma teleportez dupa stare.

·         Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

Nu, so sad

·         If you could have any pet in the world, illegal or not, what would you get?

o maimutica.. Marcel :))

·         What was your favorite cartoon to watch growing up?

Tom & Jerry, Powerpuff, Viata cu Louie :))

·         Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?

Da

·         What is the coolest thing you’ve been for Halloween

Nada, once again.. so sad

·         Which gender is it easier for you to be friends with?

Barbati, dar se interpreteaza cateodata gresit aceasta prietenie

.·         If your crush were with you right now, what would you do?

"Facem curat?" :))))))))))))))

·         Animals owner?

Not now, but soon

·         If we learn from our mistakes, why are we always so afraid to make a mistake?

pentru ca doare, pentru ca e penibil, pentru ca ne e frica de esec, de parerile celorlati si pentru ca, suntem mai mult judecati prin prisma greselilor

.·         When was the last time you tried something new?

Sambata, that was... dubios :))

·         If you swear, what is your favorite swear word?

WTF? Sa moara bibi, in pana mea si altele pe care nu le voi spune :D

·         Have you ever milked an animal?

nup, nup, not gonna try.

·         If you could have a theme song of your life, what song would that be?

Coldplay-Paradise

·         Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed mostly

·         What is your favorite food?

ICartofi, oua, branza, mamaliguta

·         If you could live in a book for a day, what book would it be

Harry Potter :D

·         Which movie could you watch over and over and still love?

Harry Potter , iha

·         What is your usual bedtime?

dupa 12 :(

·         What was the last text you sent?

"oki"

·         What comes to mind immediately when I say ‘Fear’

Painjen, failure, death...si uitasem ce clasicul "TREBUIE SA VORBIM":))))

·         What do you like least about yourself?

Laziness!
·         If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?

Imi place numele meu, prea mult

·         If you could be any magical, mythical creature or being, what would you be?

O zana, unicorn, Hermione Granger :))))))

·         Is your current hair color your natural hair color? 

Nu
·         What was the last thing that made you laugh?

Sambata, faceam karaoke la 12 npt si incercam sa imi opresc piticania sa faca ca  sirena unei ambulante.

·         Do you sing in the shower? 

Of course, and I am winnig Grammys for that :))

·         Is Christmas stressful?

NEVER sau poate un pic, ca tine prea putin si nu am timp sa innebunesc lumea cu spiritul meu Craciunesc dar mai sunt 148 de zile pana atunci deci pot incepe pregatirea.
·         Tea or coffee?

Coffeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee forver!!!!!!!

Cam atat, observ ca nu sunt asa wild cum credeam :)).

Alina, ai legatura :D

O zi amuzanta!

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Cand miezul noptii te prinde pentru a suta oara cu ochii deschisi visand la cum vei fi, ce vei face, ce ti se va intampla. Cand totul incepe de maine. Cand iti promiti pentru a mia oara ca vei fi altfel. Te opresti, te intrebi, te enervezi. 

Simt ca e un cerc, ca imi traiesc viata urmarind o linie ce se intalneste in aceleasi puncte in fiecare zi. Sunt poate, cea mai organizata persoana cand vine vorba de obiective, ce imi doresc, ce ma defineste. In acelasi timp, probabil si cea mai uituca sau sceptica persoana, traind cu minusuri, trecand peste plusuri doar pentru ca nu sunt "tangibile" sau oricine le poate avea. Spun glume in situatii inconfortabile. Incerc zi de zi sa ma descopar dar la sfarsitul zilei ma simt mai pierduta ca niciodata. Scriu despre mine pentru ca am nevoie sa ma vad, sa imi astern gandurile, sa le dau o ordine, sa le schimb. Cel mai adesea, imi gasesc cuvintele la fel, deloc schimbate, poate incarcate cu alte momente. 

Nu sunt o persoana a unei ambitii nemaipomenite si mereu am invidiat persoanele din jurul meu doar pentru acest lucru. Pentru ca si-au propus sa fie fericiti si optimisti si le-a iesit, pentru ca si-au propus sa se simta bine cu propria lor persoana si le-a iesit, pentru ca si-au propus sa nu isi piarda blandetea si le-a iesit. Si tot pentru aceasta ambitie, ii iubesc. 

Poate si pentru ca ma cunosc si imi sunt aproape. Mai ales, ca am tendinta sa dispar si sa ma rup complet de lume. Evadez nefacand nimic, imi incarc bateriile sperand sau iubind-mi perna care ma asculta si ma sprijina. Cred ca am nevoie sa ma fug mai mult timp, poate asa as descoperi ce vreau.

Nu sunt genul care sa nu vorbeasca despre probleme, din contra I am pretty loud when it comes to this. Mi le zic, mi le memorez, insist si devine o alta rutina din care auzi, silentios,  "Iar se plange?" Cum ziceam, insist.. un pic degeaba, un pic ca sa ma eliberez, un pic pentru ca am uitat cum sa asculti si un pic pentru ca am nevoie sa fiu in centrul cuiva la sfarsit de zi. 

Imi inchipui ca schimbarea va veni ca intr-un film: dintr-o data si cu efecte vizibile din prima secunda but not true. Asa cum nici dragostea nu vine la un bal in care iti uiti un pantof, asa cum nici o relatie nu inseamna numai miere, asa cum nimic nu este gratuit, nici schimbarea nu se intampla intr-o dimineata cu soare. Cred ca este nevoie de un moment de "aha" sau in cazul meu, "WTF?" Cred ca e greu sa incepi o schimbare mai ales ca persoana pe care trebuie sa o convingi din nou si din nou esti "Tu". In acelasi timp, vreau sa fiu una din persoanele pe care le invidiez si le admir. 

O sa fie al naibii de greu, o sa incerc sa imi zic cu tentatie "acum, apoi gata", like a drug addiction, comoditatea poate fi marsava si iti poate cuprinde mintea incet pana cand te trezesti intr-o zi cu ani irositi, traiti din inertie, plini cu evenimente facute pentru ca trebuiau facute. 

E tarziu, e maine deja, sper sa nu imi gasesc scuze. 

Noapte buna!

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